How to Get Out of Hustle Mode and Into Energy-Based Productivity

• The difference between masculine vs feminine productivity
• How to use your cycle and intuition to plan your work (yes, really)
• Why so many entrepreneurs are burned out—and what to do instead
• A powerful metaphor that’ll change the way you think about getting things done

“We don’t have to be burned out to be productive. We just need to trust a different rhythm.”

“Masculine energy is about doing. Feminine energy is about being, and both are essential.”

“Your nervous system knows when it’s time to rest. It’s your mind that argues.”

“So many women are trying to do business the way men do it, and wondering why it doesn’t feel right.”

“If we stop shaming ourselves for needing rest, we actually get more done.”

INTRO

Traditional productivity often means pushing harder, hustling through our to-do list, powering through, even when our body is begging for a break. What if that is not the only way? In today’s conversation, I’m joined by a relationship and energy coach. Her name is Merianne Drew, and we explore something I wish I had learned much earlier, the difference between masculine and feminine energy in how we work, rest, and relate.

We talk about why so many women feel exhausted trying to operate in a system built on hustle and what it looks like to shift towards a more intuitive, cyclical, and sustainable rhythm. Marianne breaks down how understanding your natural energy patterns and your cycle can radically change the way you structure your day and your relationships. If you ever wondered why can’t I just keep up or felt guilty for needing rest, this episode will feel like a deep exhale.

So let’s dive in. 

Welcome to the Peaceful Productivity Pod, where we redefine productivity through a lens of mindfulness and holistic well-being. I’m your host, Anne Rajoo.

As a busy mom, entrepreneur, and advocate for a harmonious life, I’ve learned that constant busyness doesn’t equate to true productivity. Join me here as we explore a diverse range of topics from innovative productivity tools and mindset shifts to creative approaches that help you find your sweet spot, that magical place where peak performance meets happiness. Discover how experts and regular people alike tame their to-do lists, sharpen their focus, find clarity, and maintain a calm, present lifestyle without compromising peace and fulfillment.

Settle in, relax, and prepare for actionable insights and practical tips here on the Peaceful Productivity Pod. And leave feeling motivated and confident. 

ANNE

So Merianne, I’m super excited you’re here and I think it’s going to be a really interesting conversation.

And let’s just start with sort of talking about what is masculine and feminine energy in productivity? What do we actually mean by this?

MERIANNE

That’s such a good question. So yes, men and women go about productivity differently, and we need to make a differentiation between men and women and masculine and feminine. So masculine doesn’t necessarily mean a man, and feminine doesn’t necessarily mean a woman.

But over time and evolution, men typically embody more masculine energy and women typically embody more feminine energy. So when we’re in masculine productivity, we’re more in hustle energy, impatience, and there’s deadlines to meet, and go, go, go, and productivity at all costs, and get it done, right? That’s very masculine energy. And it’s very exciting, it can be very exciting, but it also can be very overwhelming.

And very stimulating for the nervous system. And then feminine productivity is more flow. So we’re kind of going with the flow, we’re sort of meandering, like this looks like a good project to do today.

I’ll do this today. I didn’t plan this out three weeks ago. I just decided today was the day to do it.

And I’m gonna do it. And it gets done. And it’s beautiful.

And then we move on to the next projects, you know, and it also depends on, you know, if you’re a woman, and you are in feminine energy, if femininity is your essence, then it changes from the different times in our cycle, right? 

So we have four stages of our menstrual cycle. And we have different energy levels in all of those, and different hormones are being produced in all of those and different hormones are going up and down, right? And we as females, if we have a feminine essence, it’s pretty wise of us to track our cycle so that we if we are planning our productivity, we can plan accordingly to know what our energy levels are going to be what our endurance levels are going to be our stamina based on where in our cycle so that we don’t  schedule any really stressful things during,the three days leading up to our period and the three days, you know, after a period, you know, flow energy, like I was saying, we just kind of meander and what inspires us is what we do.

And we do it well. And we do it. It’s practical, just like male productivity or masculine productivity, go about it in a different kind of a way. And that’s where we have a lot of tension right now, because a lot of women are entering and are in the workforce. And the way we are productive doesn’t really match the way the world has been productive for a long, long time.

ANNE

I love that.

And this is basically describes me so much because I learned the very masculine way of being productive. Do make sure you hit your targets, your goals. Don’t take a break, like don’t care about what period I what like what’s the mood today? What’s the energy level? No, no, no.

You’ve got things to do on your to do list. You’ve got to work really hard to take them all off until obviously that didn’t work. And then I discovered that there is a different way.

And that was really life changing for me. And obviously, that brought me to peaceful productivity and why I have a podcast and all of that. But it’s really for me, it was mind blowing to discover that there is even a different way and that this can actually work.

And I still sometimes struggle today because it’s so deeply ingrained for me. And I think it’s it’s not right or wrong, masculine or feminine. And I think there’s always sort of that we need a bit of a masculine energy to do something.

But I think it’s the balance and not operating on top of one of them,like incredibly focused. I think it’s this flow in between and really understanding what works for you and when can you apply it. So  this is what I’m trying to obviously uncover with peaceful productivity and the podcast in itself.

But what I’m also curious about is in terms of those who are listening, who are like me and who really have been like in this masculine energy when they are working, producing, what could that mean practically to open up a little bit more to the feminine energy? Because that can feel a bit for me in the beginning felt really unnatural and really like. And I’m lik  dabbling around. It’s fun, but do I actually get anything done? Speaking from my own experience.

MERIANNE

Yes, that is a really it’s really hard because you’re right where that mindset is so programmed into us that even thinking about going about it productivity in a different way feels foreign, like wrong almost. So the first thing is to really find out what fears and what judgments like you were saying, like, I’m lazy.

I’m a good for nothing, right? There’s a lot of those judgments that have seeped into us because of the culture. We need to really examine those fears and confront them and find out if they’re really true. And that this is sort of the fear and do it anyway kind of thing, because we’re so unfamiliar with doing things with feminine energy.

We don’t have the benefit of experiential knowledge to know that it’s all going to work out. Don’t you worry. It will get done.

We just kind of have to lean into that energy with a lot of faith, really take care of that part of us that’s afraid. And it’s okay. I know you’re afraid, but the way that we’ve been doing this isn’t working.

We have experiential knowledge behind that. A lot of us are burnt out by trying to do productivity, the masculine way. We just were not built to handle stress the way the male body is sorry. A lot of people don’t like to hear that, but it’s true, especially in our luteal phase of our cycle. A lot of this is to confront the fears find out what is true. Remember what the experiential knowledge that we have that doing it the way we’ve done it doesn’t work.

So we need to have the the faith and the, um, the trust that if we do it another way, that things still will get done and it’ll all work out and we don’t have to be burnt out. And really just leaning into that feminine quality of intuition and letting that inner voice guide us of what is to be done today and then doing it. And maybe nothing comes when we ask that maybe need to be done today.

Maybe today is a rest day and we need to just trust that that’s okay that we have a rest day and trust that tomorrow I I’ll probably not feel this way after I’ve gotten a good rest. I’ll likely feel productive again or wanting, motivated to do that again. But the more we shame ourselves and judge ourselves for being lazy and a good for nothing, the more we stay stuck in that holding pattern energy.

We stay stuck in the depressed, unmotivated state. And when we, that was such a game changer for me. And like when I just gave myself permission to be a woman and to have a period and to be in bed on that first day of my period and watch self-indulgent trashy TV and not worry about the, all the things that has to be done, make it okay that I need a break and, and not be in all the judgments of, of the, what we’ve mentioned, then I’m ready to be productive again.

Usually I’m re-energized and I didn’t spend all that energy in my head beating myself up.

ANNE

Exactly.

I think this is so important because really when we try to push through whatever is going on and we’re like, no, I’ve got to get this done. There is this energy of pushing. And I think personally, I had the experience many times, the output isn’t quite what it could be when we are in this more positive, more flowy, creative energy, or even this, surrender of like what I get done today gets done.

And  maybe today is not the day towrite this sales pitch because you’re not finding the right words. Well, then maybe tomorrow is a new day and you feel more creative out about it, but then the email is going to be 10 times better because it comes from a different place. And I think this is also something where it’s like really trusting your ability to create the outcome that you need to create.

And to allow yourself to  maybe be a bit flexible in terms of when it gets done and how it gets done, of course it doesn’t always work. And then sometimes there are things that need to be done and you’re like, I don’t feel like doing it, but you know, there is an important deadline or what, but in overall, I think it’s this really listening to yourself and allowing, like giving yourself permission, what you said to just, okay, today I feel this feels right. So let’s just go there and forget about the to-do list and the mountains of laundry and all the other things that still are there.

Well, they still, I say that always to my voices.

MERIANNE

That’s right. I say that all the time.

When we’re in that forgiveness space, we don’t have a string of it’ll be there tomorrow days where it never ever gets done. Right. It will get done.

It just won’t get done right now. And I think a really good analogy for this. I meanwomen typically have been very feeling based.

And so it makes sense that we would go with the way things feel. And a really good analogy is, childbirth, when you try to push a baby out, it works so well if the body isn’t ready for the baby to come out, it doesn’t work so well, but just like naturally going with the natural, timing, when that baby’s ready to come and it doesn’t take a lot of pushing, actually, it just kind of naturally happens. So if we can take, that example from nature and bring it into everything, the baby’s still going to get born.  It’s just not going to get born right when you want it to be born.

ANNE

This is one of these life elements where you have mostly very little control over like with so many things, but we think we can control it by, by pushing.But at the end of the day, most of the things we don’t actually have control over.

And I think this is also, I think what you said as well, this fear of, it’s going to be month and month that now I’ll be lazy and, I will never get this done. And my business will burn down because, I’m not doing the like, this is, we tend to go into this really negative spiral and sort of like worst case scenario. And then at the end of the day, mostly it doesn’t happen because that’s like, just, we needed a break.

And so we took that break and that’s totally okay. And like you said, we come back more energy energized. And I love that.

MERIANNE

And as long as you’re consistently showing up to your business, you consistently show up, maybe not at the same time every day or this, the same cycles, but as long as you keep on showing up and bringing massive value, because there’s so much value that you have to bring from within you, it’s going to happen. It’s just going to happen as it’s supposed to naturally happen.

ANNE

And I always say that to my, my clients as well, in terms of peaceful productivity, it’s not about doing more, it’s actually removing things like that for me was such a game changer as well. Instead of wanting to do five, 5 million things, because that’s what I’ve been told.

And you can do anything in the world, anything you want, you just have to work hard for it. And so I was doing and doing, but when I removed things and I really got clear of like, what is actually really important here and what really needs to get done and what is a nice to have and what is just something that I’ve been telling myself that I should be doing. When I removed those things, it was just crazy simple.

And it’s just a few hours really that I focus on my work and I get so much more done than instead of being like, this and that and here and there. And like, just, running crazy in my mind. So that’s a huge one to just strip it back a little bit, ladies doing too many things already and doing more and pushing harder.

MERIANNE

And most of us, well, not most of us, but many of us are also raising a family and running a household, which is a full-time job. So two people, one person doing two full-time jobs, it’s, you’re going to have burnout and, kind of going into the realm of my niche, my,profession is relationships. Right?

And especially a lot of people come to me when they’re having trouble in their marriages or their partnerships. And when women are out in the world, trying to be men and doing business the way men do business, it can work like you do get results, right? However, there is a trade-off because if you’re bringing that masculine energy back home and you’re married to a man, there’s going to be some conflict because he’s trying to occupy the masculine space. And if you have a feminine essence, you want him to occupy the masculine space.

Otherwise you’re not going to ever have sex. You’re not going to ever feel desire for him if he’s not embodying masculine energy. And so we have to, if we’re going to choose to do that, push masculine energy on the world. We have to learn how to take off that hat and sink into our feminine energy when we’re home and when we’re with our man. Otherwise, you’re just going to have conflict and no desire and no chemistry, no play at all. So there’s a lot of trade-offs to that.

ANNE

No, I love that.

And I think this is definitely true. Like I’ve noticed that in myself that  it’s the pushing at work and then you carry it around with you and you try to push your children when they need to go somewhere. They don’t like that so much.

Like the whole masculine of like, get this done now. And the husband as well. if I’m telling my husband do this like that, and do it now, he will never, he does not like that.

So it’s definitely this. I think it’s softening a little bit there as well.

And leaving those things at work where you might need it, because like we said, sometimes it’s essential to do those things and to get stuff done in that particular way. But there is this feminine side and it is probably sort of like I mean, it makes us  women, this feminine essence.

MERIANNE

And it does what makes us very attractive to somebody who is masculine, right? That’s polarity is what creates desire and attraction, right.? And it’s their differences that really create that. And so we have to, if we employ a ritual, even when we put aside our work for our masculine productivity and do some sort of ritual to get us in the mindset and get us back into our feminine energy, do that.

That’s really, that can be really useful.

ANNE

I love a ritual. 

I actually, like, for me, this is one of the first things that I, that I implemented when I realized that I was just constantly like having my mind at work. I would literally like after finishing work, I would change, even though I work at home, I’m a mom, I have like a mom uniform, shorts and t-shirt, I would live in a hot country. But I would still change the different shorts and t-shirt just for the act of changing, because I noticed that that cleared my mind so completely from work and really helped me to step into, for me in that moment, it’s mommy mode because normally I run and run out and fetch the kids from school, but it’s like the switching over to a different, I don’t know if it’s the brain circuits or whatever it is, but I think it’s really powerful.

So I love a ritual for sure.

MERIANNE

Yes, it is very ritual.

And that’s why ritual has been around for a long, long time in human culture.

ANNE

All right. So anything else that you think is important to say when, when it comes to like the energy and the relationship, like what have you noticed with your clients, for example, that is sort of, comes into this conversation that we’re having and that could be interesting to touch on.

MERIANNE

Well, so when you find yourself like, you know, listening to this podcast and going, Oh, wow. Okay. I’ve been embodying masculine energy for so long.

My partner, my male partner has as a result, taking on a lot of feminine energy and I’ve got a major factor going on whenever he wants to be physical. How do you walk back from that? That’s a really tough one. 

So, and this one’s really hard because masculine energy is initiation. Okay. You look at like, flirtation and if you’re dating women, put ourselves on display so that there’s a clear message, like I’m ready to be approached, but you better do the approaching, right? Masculine energy is initiation.

So there are certain aspects of the feminine and a lot of women may not like this, but there are a lot of aspects of the feminine that cannot exist without the masculine, right? Because we have to feel safe enough to relax in, into our softer, more surrendered state. And in order for us to feel safe, he has to be embodying that masculine energy of safety and security and confidence and leadership. And I’ve got this so that I can relax and stop trying to control everything.

And so, that might take a really hard conversation, like telling your partner, okay, I would like to be more feminine. And in order for me to feel safe enough to do that, I need this from you.

So I will do my best to not, you know, criticize and try to over manage, micromanage you as you are navigating that and figuring out how to lean into that masculine and let you make mistakes as you move in that direction. I will do my very best. And I would like it if you could help me when I forget to do that, when I start leaning back into my masculine and, and gently remind me that you’ve got this now and then we can, that’s not going to be an easy thing to navigate, but with, open and clear communication, direct communication and a lots of grace and forgiveness and allowing each other to make mistakes as we move to a work out over time.

As long as you’re staying very conscious and aware that you both are changing the dynamic.

ANNE

I love that.

So it sounds like really this co-creation, let’s work this out together and that’s, that’s just something, but when you said this of like,telling what you need, there is this thing there that I have worked on a lot myself is this actually, allowing to receive and even expressing what is it that I need? Like who, like what? Tthat is probably one of my masculine traits there of like, no, no, no, I don’t need anything. I’m good. I’m strong

MERIANNE

But it’s more masculine to be direct communicators, right? Females are typically indirect communicators and it really helps in relationship when women learn how to be more direct in their communication to just ask for what they need or tell their man, this is what I need. And then they don’t have to, guess, but there is a reason why women have become indirect communication communicators and men when they’re fully present and they are, feeling into their woman, they can pick up on those subtle indirect communication cues. But they have to be practiced at doing that.

They have to know how to get out of their head and not be not on their phone. Right. So they can be present with their woman and pick up on those things.

So we can both move a little bit towards each other. Men can be more present and more aware of the emotional environment. And then women can learn how to be more direct communicators.

And I think if we both move towards that, we can understand each other a lot better.

ANNE

Absolutely. I love that.

And I think like it goes back to what we said initially, sort of like there are these both ways of energy and doesn’t mean that like one is male and one is female or like men, women, but there is a place for each of those energies. And we, I think we actually have the control or power sort of to tap into it as it fits as needed. 

And not to just go with the automated flow of like, okay, like this is what I do and not, not questioning it and not thinking about what is that maybe is that the best approach? Or maybe is there a different approach? Maybe, coming in with the feminine energy is better at this moment. So I love that. 

I think this really goes back to do a lot of like listening to yourself and the self-awareness and making these things work for you and getting strength from it instead of pushing against something that is maybe not natural and maybe not the best way in that particular moment.

So I love that. Thank you.

MERIANNE

You’re right. 

And that’s really well said. Each moment calls for a different thing and we can’t be prescriptive about it. We have to feel in each moment in each circumstances unique.

And so sometimes a moment calls for cooperation and a different circumstance calls for competition and competition and collaboration are both great for humans if applied in the right context. And this is why we need each other because men are competitive and when you see female-led businesses, you see a lot more collaboration and a lot more taking care of people and less, but you see less risk-taking. So there’s trade-offs to that, but you also see more sustainability because risk-taking also can, the risk, the result of the risk can be awesome, like huge scaled growth, but it can also mean total disaster in the business.

Right? Women, we don’t typically take those kinds of risks. So we need both. We need to help each other know when is time for cooperation and when it’s time for competition, when it’s time for risk-taking, when it’s time for stability.

And I think, just commerce and economics in general could go really well for more people than it has if we can do that.

ANNE

Can’t agree more. 

I think this is a beautiful note to end on. It’s, there’s space for all of us and it’s the working together and maybe learning from each other and really just, supporting one another. I think this is the core that I feel comes out there.

So maybe if you want to tell everybody where they can find you and find out more about the wonderful work you do, where should they go?

MERIANNE

Sure. You can go to meriannedrew.com. My name is spelled a little different. So it’s M-E-R-I-A-N-N-E-D-R-E-W.com. And that’s where you can schedule a free discovery call.

And that’s where we just talk about what’s going on in your relationship. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic partnership. I work with people who maybe have a difficult boss or trouble getting along with their in-laws or their adult child.

And I can tell you on that call exactly why it’s not working out and how it has happened that way and a path, a clearer path forward so you can have more peace and harmony in your relationship.

ANNE

I love that. Thank you so much for being here with me.

MERIANNE

Thank you for having me on. It’s a pleasure. 

OUTRO

What I love most about this conversation is Merianne’s reminder that productivity doesn’t have to feel like a fight.

That you’re not lazy or broken or behind. You’re just trying to force your flow into a system that was never designed for your body or your energy. Isn’t that such a great reminder and such a relief to know? And like I said in the intro, I wish I had known this much earlier because I had put so much pressure on myself to fit into this typical masculine productivity box.

So here are two gentle takeaways that I would love for us to sit with today. 

First one, you don’t need to earn your rest. This is still and will probably continue to be one of my biggest challenges.

That rest doesn’t mean you’re lazy. It doesn’t mean you’re going to fall behind. It doesn’t mean you’re missing out.

It is an essential part of being productive because our energy isn’t linear. It is not the same every single day. And I think we’ve got to start really honoring our cycle.

I will link another episode that I recorded with a cycle expert a while ago. I will link it in the show notes where we go a little bit deeper in the itself. So if you’re curious about how you can honor your cycle, what that could look like, and even more details why that is powerful, check out the other episode that I will link in the show notes.

Because your hormones and your emotions and even the moon, they impact how you can work, how much energy you have, how much brain power you have. And pushing those aside and ignoring them can really lead to burnout.

And the second point is, you get to choose how you show up.

Some days we will need more structure or other days we might need a little bit more softness and flexibility or spontaneity. And the magic lies in noticing what is true for you today and letting yourself respond to that exact right thing in that moment. So you get to choose how you show up.

It is not dictated by some productivity app or productivity guru. So if this episode sparked something for you, I want to invite you to book a productivity mini audit with me. It is an exclusive offer for you here on the Productivity Sweetspot podcast.

Because you are a loyal listener or even a new listener, I really appreciate you being here and I want to say thank you to you. So my mini productivity audit normally costs $55. But for you, it’s going to be free.

So the link will be in the show notes. Have a look, check it out. But really, this mini audit is a deep dive into what is draining your energy and what small tweaks you can bring to your day to feel more peaceful, more aligned, and more energized.

And even though it’s called a mini audit, it’s not actually small. It is the exact intensive assessment I do with my full productivity audit clients. And I will personally evaluate your answers to the questions and I will provide you with personalized productivity recommendations.

So this is not a checklist. This is not AI produced. This is really me looking at the assessment answers and giving you my personalized recommendations.

My productivity audit clients from the full audit have gotten amazing aha moments from doing the assessment alone. And this is why I thought it would be a great idea to put it into this mini audit offer so that you can benefit from it without necessarily having to go through my larger productivity audit. So link in the show notes going to be free for you as a podcast listener.

Have a look. I think you will love it. It’s an amazing offer and I’m really excited to bring it to you here.

And as always, if my podcast episodes resonate with you, I will appreciate your review. Tag me on Instagram, post it in stories. It gets me excited to see it because speaking into the microphone, not seeing you, not knowing you are there sometimes feels a little bit lonely and awkward.

And it really makes me happy when I know that you’re enjoying the podcast and come back next week. I will have a solo episode and I will talk about my training for a half marathon and what it has taught me about intentional productivity. And don’t worry, it’s not about running, really.

You don’t have to be interested in running. It’s about pacing, presence and identity based habits that actually stick. I will talk about discipline with compassion, sustainable routines and what real progress looks like when perfection isn’t running the show.

If you ever felt all or nothing with your work habits, this one is for you. Until then, stay peacefully productive and catch you next time.