Time Stress, Decision Fatigue & the Rest We Actually Need

• What rest looks like when you’re too busy to rest
• The link between time stress, focus, and creativity
• How to feel less scattered (without adding more structure)
• Why intentional rest creates more long-term success

“We have so much self-worth wrapped up in our productivity, we forget to ask if we even enjoy what we’re doing.”

“Rest isn’t a luxury, it’s a reset. And it might be the missing piece between stuck and inspired.”

“The world won’t fall apart if you take a break. That’s just a story we’ve been told, and it’s time to challenge it.”

“When you’re deep in decision fatigue, everything feels harder. Rest gives you the clarity to choose again.”

“You don’t have to go on a retreat to pause. But you do need to make space, even ten minutes can change your whole day.”

INTRO

Do you feel guilty taking a break? Like you’re being lazy or you will be losing momentum? I used to feel that way a lot, because if I wasn’t done with everything, I couldn’t possibly rest. But today’s episode is going to gently challenge that thinking. I’m joined by Anna VanAgtmael, a retreat host and entrepreneur, and we are talking about what really happens when you step away from the grind, whether it’s a long luxurious gateway or a 10-minute pause at home.

So here’s the truth. Taking breaks doesn’t mean you’re slacking. In fact, it might be the missing piece between stuck and inspired, between burnout and breakthrough.

We’ll explore how to build intentional rest into your everyday life, how decision fatigue might be draining your productivity, and what changes when you give yourself the permission to pause, even if you feel like you don’t have time for it. 

ANNE

Taking breaks, short or long, has been one of my biggest struggles really and I have had this deep-rooted belief that I’ll be lazy or that I’ll end up totally demotivated or the other thing is that I could only take a break when I’m done with my work, when I’ve really achieved my goals, and then I can take a break.

So Anna, you organize retreats and that means people have to step away from their business, they have to take a break. And I’m wondering if we can maybe start off with some stories or things that you’ve noticed that happen when people step away from business as usual and they take a break. So yeah, what funny things or interesting things can you share with us?

ANNA

I think the two things that come to mind right off the top of my head is like my most creative ideas have never come when I’m just dying at my desk.

It usually came when I took a break and went for a walk or had a really great conversation with another human being. And the other thing is as I see in myself and a lot of my clients that we have so much self-worth wrapped up in our productivity that it can be to our detriment of achieve, achieve, achieve, produce, produce, produce, without maybe even pausing to understand why we’re doing it and if we still get joy out of it. I also always say that I don’t think that you have to go away to pause.

You don’t. You could do it at home. I just think sometimes taking an extended break outside of your normal environment with strangers can really push you outside of your comfort zone, which I think is where the magic happens, but also take away all of those roles and responsibilities and all of the noise and the distractions to maybe make you, challenge you to check in a little bit deeper and a little more fully.

That’s why I love retreats, but I also think that you can create that type of ritual at home as well.

ANNE

I love that. Let’s go to both sides.

So let’s start with maybe the home breaks, the rituals, the little ideas that you have, and I know you love nature breaks as well. So let’s talk about that first and then we can switch over to the more adventurous and bigger breaks and maybe some lavish getaways.

ANNA

Yes. So II have two young dogs, which they’re my fourth and fifth rescue. And there’s just something to be said about old dogs. They don’t need as much exercise or attention.

I even actually, when I had elderly dogs, I would go for a walk regardless. I’m in Michigan in the U S so we get all kinds of inclement weather and no matter the weather, I just took the dogs for a walk. It is 25 degrees Fahrenheit and it is windy and it is awful.

I did not enjoy it, but it still woke me up, still got us outside. It’s still whatever. I commit to doing that daily.

And I also try to commit to just at least I try for 30 minutes. Sometimes it’s only 10 uncertain days of just quiet with my eyes closed. I don’t normally fall asleep or anything.

It’s not really like a power nap. It’s more of like, and it almost always happens at 3 PM every day. It’s like when I hit this slump and it doesn’t even mean that I expect myself to like get a lot more done after, but I do feel in a right head space to maybe make a better dinner or get a few more hours of work done or something instead of just dragging my tiresome bodies through the day and then bigger, longer, I actually prefer a 10 day trip always. I think  it takes me like three or four days to like actually just like my shoulders just actually are down. They’re not up by my ears.

I’m not running through my to-do list. It’s just sort of like my body physically drops in. It requires a little more time. And like people always underestimate that first and last day of your trip is just travel. It’s not actually relaxing. It’s usually stressful for most people.

I only do seven days now. I really like when I host retreats, I really like people to have an extended period of time. I want them to make relationships and new friends.

And that usually requires a little more time as well. And I try to myself, even when I take my own trips, we’ve  intentions throughout the trip. So journal questions, some yoga, some silent walksjust, just being intentional about noticing your surroundings and not like going to the next thing and trying to squeeze everything out of each day.

You don’t want to be exhausted at the end.

ANNE

No, exactly. You need a holiday from the holiday. That’s the worst.

ANNA

That’s not good.

ANNE

No, exactly. I love that. 

And I definitely love what you said about the shorter breaks. And I have a young dog too. So I walk him almost all the time, even when it rains.

I told you it’s warm here, so it doesn’t really matter, but still walks in the rain are not that fun, but it makes such a difference to just get moving in the morning. And then I love the 10 minutes, like close your eyes or be still. I do that maybe not every day, but I definitely have this reminder, like an alarm on my phone before I have to pick up the kids.

So I have like half an hour before, the alarm going off because what I would do otherwise would work until sharp the minute I have to dash out of the car and then run off and pick them up. But I’m intentionally having the alarm earlier so that I have a bit of quiet time and time to just sit down, put my feet up for a little bit. Either I’d scroll through social media.

If I feel like I need to have that brain dumping thing or like you said, like close my eyes and just sit there and let everything go so that I can switch over to mommy mode and that kind of thing. And when you were talking about the retreat, a good friend of mine just went on holidays and I think she needs a holiday from the holiday. But what we talked about was literally when she came back the next time, she said, the next time I’m doing this, next time I’m going away, I’m going to schedule at least one, two, maybe three days after my trip to come back home and to unpack and to sort out what she needs to sort out.

She has two little kids as well and a business, but I think that was quite interesting as well to be aware of that. You said travel, first of all,  requires energy. And then when we come back, maybe not dive right back into work or whatever you would be doing.

ANNA

So we actually call it. Oh, go ahead. We call it integration.

So it’s like we take care of our guests like we. I really don’t want that. I want them to feel truly taken care of and not do anything. So like we’ve made all their meals, we’ve driven them everywhere, whatever.

And so I try to host from Saturday to the following Friday so that two days before they have to go back to their regular jobs and lives. It doesn’t always work out. It depends on the rental sometime if they have that availability in days.

But I do try for that because I I think it’s it’s it’s just like a little it’s like easing back in and not being thrown back into the fire

ANNE

Exactly. And so maybe also the effect, I mean, especially when you do a retreat, the effect might stay a bit longer with you when you don’t have a sharp cut, like you just sort of closing the retreat door and you open the door to the chaos.

It feels like nothing stuck sort of. I like that. This is definitely something I’m going to plan into.

We’re going away in August. So I need to make sure I free some time after the trip. I like the integration.

And obviously, if someone can take care of my meals and all of that, that is. But let’s go back to what you said at the very beginning, because I love that.

So dying at our desk is something like, oh, my God, yes. I was like, gosh, I love that. I’m going to maybe steal that phrase.

But I think this is what happens with a lot of entrepreneurs, especially or at least the people that I work in  the capacity of mentoring them, that there’s just so much to do and it feels like it’s never ending. And so we’re sort of just chained to the desk of like, get it done, finish it off. But then and what we were talking was especially also breaks really help our brain to digest information and to be creative.

So let’s talk about that a little bit, what you’ve experienced for yourself or what you see when your clients go on a retreat and then suddenly they don’t have to worry about all the work and they speak to beautiful people and they see beautiful nature. And I’m assuming they get some really great ideas and things like that.

ANNA

I think that your subconscious mind can kind of get stuck in the cycle of like, this is hard. Life is hard.

This is always going to be too much work. There’s always going to be whatever. And you have to interrupt those patterns to find joy in life and also be able to do other things than just work.

Right. So, again, I think scheduling time, whether you go away or not, is important. But I find that whenever I feel almost like I’m edging towards burnout or getting stuck in some of those cycles that.

Just taking real time off like days, not it doesn’t have to be 10, but like just scheduling no work for like a subset of time to just challenge myself, one, that if I do step away from my desk, the world won’t end. Just a good reminder. And do like sometimes you.

You just need fresh eyes that like mental reset that whatever. And I think especially as women, decision fatigue is just daily. Right.

And so the more you can take some of that off your plate, which is really what we do try to do with our guests, is here’s an itinerary. It’s a suggestion of things. Choose your own adventure.

If you feel like you need a nap and skip hiking, if you  just show up at a certain time and foods on the table, the car leaves at a certain time to go do an excursion. If you want to participate, we do yoga every day. But again, choose your own adventure.

So it’s more just I want them instead of having decision fatigue is just like here are all these wonderful options. What does it feel like in your body to say yes to them? Does it feel good or does it not? I want them to create more awareness and potentially I really try with the journal questions to say  what was your favorite part of today? Is that something you can integrate when you get home? Like life is supposed to be joyful. Right?

We’re supposed we’re here to have fun and enjoy it. It doesn’t mean that we’re not going to experience sorrow and sadness and there won’t be difficult times. But we also like get to choose to be happy and we get to choose to just find joy in the mundane and pleasure in the day to day.

So I’m trying to  encourage everybody to pursue a life that they love because I do believe it’s accessible to everybody, regardless of how old you are, what your responsibilities are, how many kids you have, where you live, things like that.I think it’s awareness and it’s intention and it doesn’t matter where you are. Environment does play a huge factor.

It is like I always think like when I go on vacation, I’m like, God, this is the version of me that I wish I was every day. And it’s like, well, OK, how can I take some of these environmental factors? I mean, can’t do anything about the weather. But like but like there are things that you can incorporate into your where you live, where you dwell and that can help complement your day.

ANNE

Absolutely. And I think it’s probably also when you go away on a trip, you and then your itinerary is laid out for you and you just choose like, oh, this sounds interesting. Let me just try this.

You try something new that you wouldn’t necessarily either have at home or you wouldn’t do at home because it’s just new. It’s uncomfortable. But when you’re on vacation, like you said, you’re a different person and you sort of OK, let me let me just go for this.

And then you might realize, oh, this is cool.I enjoy this. I don’t know.

Maybe it’s a different yoga practice from what you normally do. It’s a different style or you didn’t think you would be liking river crafting or whatever, whatever it is and then suddenly you like it. And then how could you incorporate that? Like with my son, we started diving now together and beautiful.I didn’t I love the water. I like being by the water. I don’t necessarily like to be in the water too much.

But diving is different because you’re just like you’re just floating, really. And I love that. And now it’s like this new activity that I have together with him or the other weekend when my husband and I went out late.

We have some families coming over from the UK. So we were super tired in the morning and we had said, let’s go for a hike.We’ll pick you up at six thirty in the morning.

Well, at six thirty in the morning, we were dead and we couldn’t get out of bed. But the boys knew already that we had planned to go hiking. Are we going? Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go.

And we were like, let’s just go to the beach just sit there. And they’re like, no, we want to go hiking. So we ended up going.

It was crazy hot. It’s like nine a.m. by the time we got there. It was just humid and hot, but it was still beautiful.

I was exhausted and I had a sunburn because I didn’t take any sunscreen. But I was so glad at the end that I did it because it got me moving. It got me chatting to my boys.

Like it was just beautiful. So it’s sometimes also to just push ourselves a little bit with these things. Because it’s easy and comfortable to stay at home and put your feet up and watch a movie.

But the effect of that kind of break is very different from a break in nature. Like you said, a walk with a friend and that kind of thing. I love it.

ANNA

And we see it a lot. When people do something that they wouldn’t normally do, they’re like confidence grows and then they like to build these like really amazing relationships with, again, strangers becoming friends of like people are encouraging them to like give it a shot and stuff.

And so then it makes it easier. And then it’s sort of this community building of we’re in it together. And there’s one hike we do.

I’ve hosted in Costa Rica four times, I think. And in that near the Arenal volcano. And we stay in this really small village.

And one of the village people lives in the national park. His family has been there before it was designated as a national park. So he literally brings horses from other farmers in the area and we take them up into the mountains, tie them up at his farm, hike down into the like valley more, see two waterfalls where nobody else is because it’s private property.

And it’s usually wet because it’s the rainforest and muddy and it’s challenging. And the water is cold and it can kind of take your breath away. And like it’s one of the hardest things we do.

But it’s also like everybody feels like they can conquer the world after. I’m always like, I don’t think we’re going to do it this year. And then my friend that’s a chef and a photographer,it’s the best one.

Everybody always gets so much out of it. So similar to that of like. I almost talk myself out of doing it every single year, and there are a few people that are afraid of horses or afraid of, whatever.  It turns out to always be like one of the best ones.

ANNE

Exactly. It’s a bit like this push and, you know, like get over yourself and come out of your comfort zone.

This is where, like you said, the magic happens. It’s absolutely that. Oh, I love that.

OK, what else would you want to share with anybody who’s listening in terms of, oh, I can’t take breaks, I’m too busy. I don’t have time for breaks. You know, I don’t have money for a retreat.

Like what else would you tell people?

ANNA

I always think that there’s never a good time for anything like you. Money and time are external factors, and they’re usually excuses like you either not valuing yourself enough or being maybe a little insecure about it. They’re usually just excuses for something that’s bigger that’s happening internal.

So I often ask my clients, like if they are holding themselves back, like what is the main real reason that’s preventing you from doing this? And also, what is the worst that could happen if you’re suffering some, anxiety and stuff around it? If it’s not death, I think we should try it. And also like despite us doing payment plans and everything, if the financial piece is still too big of an investment, we do these every year and I roll them out every May.

And so I always just for me personally, if there’s something I really, really want and have decided that I do not have the funds at the current day and time, I always say it’s not a no, it’s not yet. And then do whatever I can, as long as it is still valuable to me to make it happen. So I know that might not apply to everybody’s situation, but I think it applies to most of our situations.

I also like whenever there’s some type of hurdle, it’s usually mental, there’s limiting beliefs and things like that. I try to journal about it to get kind of the bullshit out of the way.

And then just break it down into smaller chunks, like how do I attain this thing that I really, really want?

ANNE

I love that definitely. When you were talking, my mindset block or old mindset block was coming up when I would always take my children as the excuse.

I don’t have child care. I cannot go. I cannot do that.

But I think deep down, it was this belief of like, first of all, I should be doing it all by myself because I’m a capable mom. And secondly, I didn’t want to burden my husband or I didn’t want to burden mom-in-law and like make arrangements and be like, oh, I need I need a few hours to do this or go there and then sort of explain myself and why. And then like I was just talking myself out of it because it was easy to say, I don’t have child care.

I cannot do it. Easy peasy. You know coming out of that comfort zone.

So I think it’s very valid. What? And for everyone. The only reason asking for was definitely …

ANNA

No, no, no. And asking for help is a big thing for women. It’s like we feel like we kind of got to have it all together.

So sort of like you were alluding to is like it, just I think asking for help is the gateway to living your best life. But it’s still one of the things that I have to like to talk myself into doing because it’s just not my default. I get that one, too. I get that one a lot.

ANNE

And like we said, magic happens on the side of the discomfort so outside the comfort zone, be it the height of it asking for help and then having opportunities to go away or take breaks or do whatever…

ANNA

or having your people show up for you. Right. Like, doesn’t it feel good to be taken care of in a capacity where you you did ask for help? And they were like, absolutely. Like, no problem…

ANNE 

I feel like taking care of other people and supporting your friend or your family member. And they’re actually glad that you ask most of the times.

ANNA

Most of the time. I mean, they probably your husband and your mother in law want to spend time with your boys as well. Right.

ANNE

I have to, I have to voice it out and be like, hey, you know, guys, this is what I want to do. Can you support me here? 

if we don’t say it, then it’s not going to happen. But it’s exactly that we can come up with excuses in many ways. And some are valid for sure.

But like you said, if we really want something, there is a way around it and others are just really in our heads. I love that. Thank you so much.

That was beautiful. Well, before we wrap up, I know you’ve got a guide and something like where you help you talk about it. Like what? 

ANNA

So I actually host adventure retreats all over the world for women. If you’re interested in that and you’d like a free travel guide, if you sign up for a newsletter at retreats that don’t suck that calm, you can find out more about us. We’re very sarcastic. And then I also help other entrepreneurs plan and host their own profitable retreats. So that’s more your bag. You can go to moneymaking retreats dot com.

ANNE

I love that. And maybe one day you should have a retreat in Mauritius. It’s a beautiful country.

ANNA

I mean, once I found out where it was after talking to you, it sounds incredible. 

ANNE

it was lovely speaking to you, Anna. Thank you so much for taking the time to be here.

OUTRO

What I love most about today’s conversation with Anna is the reminder that rest isn’t a luxury. It’s a reset and often your most creative ideas don’t come from pushing harder. They come when you step away.

So here are two things I would love for you to take with you.

1. Don’t wait until you’ve earned your break. Schedule space to slow down even before you’re desperate for it. You don’t actually need to earn that break. You inherently have the where and are valued and you need the break.

 And the second takeaway,

1. When you’re resisting rest, ask yourself, what am I afraid will happen if I stop? And you might find there’s a belief underneath that’s ready to be challenged because what will really happen if you slow down or take a break? In most cases, not so much. We tend to over catastrophize in those cases.

I hope this episode resonated with you. I hope you will take some rest and not just that little, you know, five minute coffee break or the little time to take a breather and then back to the desk. Some really refueling rest.

I hope you got inspired by today’s episode. And if you’re ready to understand how your personality works best, not just when you’re resting, but also when you’re working, take the productivity style quiz. It helps you to discover where you’re naturally efficient and where you may be forcing things that don’t quite suit you.

You will find the link in the show notes as always. It’s on my website, annerajoo.com forward slash quiz. 

And apologies for the raspy voice. I’m struggling here to really record this smoothly because I’ve been having a cough for, I think, six or almost eight weeks right now. So I can hear it. I hope you don’t. But if you do, apologies.

I hope this episode gave you something to think about. And I would love for you to share it with a friend and leave a review because your feedback, your review really helps to bring the podcast out into the world for other women to discover peaceful productivity and to continue this conversation.

And next week, we’ll be talking about decluttering systems, not just the Pinterest perfect color coded or all white home appearance, but real life, because I’m joined by a professional organizer who specializes in helping neurodivergent families and in particular moms create realistic organizing systems and sustainable routines. My guest’s approach is refreshingly simple and practical and full of compassion. And maybe it’s her no nonsense vibe or the fact that she actually lives in Germany and must have picked up a few efficiency tricks.

And I’m giving a wink wink to my fellow Germans. You will understand what I’m talking about. So I love this conversation.

I hope you will be back next week. And until then, stay peacefully productive. And I’ll catch you next time.